I think all of us do this at some point. For, me, it’s usually on the highway just because that’s the time when I generally am just sitting, possibly listening to music, or maybe even just sitting in the silence because you’ve listened to all that your iPod has to offer and you just need to give your head and ears a break. (Those of you who have driven 5+ hours in a car can relate, I’m sure.)
In any case, during those times, I start to think a little bit. My mind starts to wander from thought to thought like a feather, until I reach out and grab it and force it to focus a little. The thing is, though, taking the time to ponder things over has always been something that has helped me, not only in my writing and creative thinking, but even just in analyzing a problem. Or, possibly, in helping to make sense of something.
On my most recent long drive, I sat there thinking over a lot of things that have occurred to me in the past year -and-a-half. Well, even in just the past few months things have been a little crazy. What with a new job (read: more pay & more work), and a lot of other responsibilities, I started thinking back to when things seemed a lot simpler.
When I first arrived here in town, I literally knew no one. I didn’t know a soul. I had gotten a job working with youth through some contacts, and was planning on that for the summer, and then back to my hometown in the fall to start up at the community college. I started to get to know people through work, but because of the nature of the job, friends that you made one week might be a few hundred miles away the next, so unfortunately I didn’t make a lot of lasting friendships.
However, I really liked the city, which was odd because it wasn’t really what I’d had in mind. So, instead of going back home, I decided to stay up here and go to school instead. The first day there, I met one of my closest friends. The second day, I met another. Since then, my contact list has branched out more and more, and I realize that I probably made the right decision in staying up here.
The thing is, though, is that the experiences haven’t all been good. Some things have been pretty heart-wrenching at times, some have been trials in frustration and others have pushed me to really be more than I ever thought I would be.
As I think back over those experiences, I realize that they have been for my good, but that they haven’t concluded with the most favorable of endings. As much as I love movies, they are truly not real life. Movies can be judged on whether or not they are “fair” to the audience. The audience expects it to end with all the pieces in place, and with all of the questions answered. If not, it’s not a good movie, and we end up saying “What about this???”
To me, that roots from the fact that our own lives don’t work like that. They violate that kind of thinking, almost at ever turn. Despite the hardships, sometimes you don’t get the job. Sometimes a loved-one’s death occurs for no reason whatsoever. And sometimes she decides to leave you even though all the signs pointed in the other direction.
We live in a world where “Happily Ever After” is sought but very rarely obtained. It’s a cruel, harsh place that will tear you apart and stomp you flat if you allow it. But we still believe that there’s always some “thing” that is going to save us from the trials that we face, despite the fact that every time we get it, we have an empty feeling inside.
I’ve seen the recent film, “The Dark Knight”, four times already. (I’m actually going to go and see it again tonight.) One of the things that I love about the film, (besides Heath Ledgers unbelievable performance), is that the characters are forced to make decisions that actually impact their lives. They are forced into situations where there may not be a happily ever after, and that can be dealt with.
When I went the third time with a friend of mine, he was really put off by the fact that it doesn’t end like the other Batman films – ie, it’s not “happy” at the end. He was put off by the dark nature of the movie, and didn’t like it based on those grounds. I heavily disagreed, pointing out that life can be dark, and often is. It’s the light that we choose to shine that truly makes the difference.
Happily ever after is something that we strive for, that we work towards, and that we work on from day to day. For us, the movie goes on past the credits, and we have to continue to live our lives. Life can be hard, and there’s no getting around that. But, we can make it better, and we can make it happy. We can make our life a life worth living.
And then we might just find that “happily every after’ after all.
- Kyle