The Small World is Too Small For Fat Folks

Here’s a fun little tidbit for you. Did you know that It’s a Small World, the infamous Disneyland™ attraction that has remained virtually unchanged since its opening in 1964, is to be closed for renovation? Now, this isn’t because it’s going to be revamped. It’s not going to be visually enhanced, and no, it’s not going to be replaced by a different version. The reason for the 10 month closure is pretty straightforward: The guests are too fat.

When the ride was originally conceived by Walt Disney and company, it was planned with the average 40+ American weight in mind. But what has happened since then is that Americans have become steadily, ahem, larger. The boats and the flume that passes them along simply can no longer handle such a load, (puns totally intended here), and so we’re looking at some monumental changes.

For 43 years, there’s been relatively few problems, but now America’s weight gain has finally caught up. The boats are starting to bottom out, causing them to get stuck halfway through the ride, freezing everything for up to three hours as the Disney Cast Members struggle to extract the helpless guests. (Apparently, the Pirates of the Carribean ride has similar problems on the initial flume drop, but so far it hasn’t been to “large” of a problem. I say, give it a few years.)

Can America just not exercise? Can we just not stop ourselves from at least working out to earn the right to eat fried chicken and doughnuts every night? Apparently not.

And so, the ride is closing for the better part of the year. And I think it’s being redesigned with an elephant’s average weight in mind.

- Kyle

~ by Karratti on Tuesday, 6 November, 2007.